


The Numbness Takes My Pain Away

by A_A_Inc



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angelica is a badass, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, emotionally abusive thomas in the friend thing, kickass angie, protective angelica, then i started writing it, this was going to be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-15 23:52:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8078740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_A_Inc/pseuds/A_A_Inc
Summary: Angelica tightened her jaw, not looking back, knowing that if she did, if she saw her baby sister and James, poor, poor James and what Thomas had done to them, she would just kill him then and there. “Greenwood park. 4:30. Be ready. Be there, or you forfeit the fight. No weapons, I don’t want to accidentally kill you.” James couldn’t believe that she was going to fight him. Neither could Thomas. He laughed. “You couldn't hurt a fly Miss Schuyler. If you tried to fight me, you’d end up getting hurt. I don’t fight unless it’s a fair fight. I can’t fight you! You’re a girl! If I punch a girl I’ll have no honor!” Angelica gritted her teeth. “It’s lucky I don’t play by the same rules, then. I will still fight an unfair fight.” She risked a glance back at what Thomas had done to her sister and Thomas’s best friend in the world. Thomas clearly didn’t see that James was in love with him. Thomas had hurt them, and he would pay, she decided. Then she did the only thing imaginable. She took a deep breath, rolled her shoulder twice for good measure, and punched Thomas.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy this brain dump!

            Angelica and Eliza Schuyler were walking to lunch to meet up with Alex and John and Lafayette and Herc, like on any normal day. Angelica had a blank look on her face, but not in a hostile way, like any normal day. Eliza had a friendly smile on her face, like any normal day. Angelica was greeted with lots of friendly nods and the odd smile or wave, like any normal day. Eliza was greeted with lots of smiles and kind ‘hello’s, ‘hi’s, and ‘hey!’s, like any normal day. And, like any normal day, Thomas Jefferson and James Madison were trailing a few steps behind them, talking. Like any normal day, it was Jefferson talking. Like any normal day, it was Madison listening. But today, Jefferson was louder. Today, Jefferson was meaner. Today Madison was quieter. And today, Madison frowned.

            Jefferson waved his arms around madly. “She isn’t smart enough to run a classroom! She just gets overly emotional all the time! I mean, it’s to be expected that she’d be overly emotional at certain times of the month, you know, because she’s a woman, but if they wanted a token diversity teacher, they should have the girl teach Home Ec. or something else appropriate for a woman to teach, like, I don’t know, sewing, but not AP Physics!” Madison frowned. Angelica’s expression and mood soured. Eliza’s smile faltered. Ms. Martha Washington, their AP Physics teacher, had yelled at Jefferson (rightly) for making lewd comments about a student’s ass, but she couldn’t send him to the principal’s office because he hadn’t technically broken their school’s extremely sexist code of conduct regarding sexual harassment. He hadn’t touched her, so she couldn’t do anything of any meaning.

            Madison was a reasonable person, or he liked to think so. He tried to be fair, and even if Thomas didn’t see it, he had deserved to be yelled at. Ms. Washington was an excellent teacher, and James really wasn’t appreciating the sexist comments coming from his friend. Even Thomas usually had boundaries, and usually period jokes were strictly out of bounds because they weren’t classy enough. The reasoning wasn’t great, but the effect was that he usually didn’t offend every decent human being in a five mile radius. Today was not Thomas’s lucky day, because he had offended every decent human being in a five mile radius, and Angelica wasn’t even five feet away. Eliza’s arm tightened around Angelica’s at the elbow so Angelica couldn’t kill him.

            Thomas made the mistake of continuing to talk. Madison saw Angelica’s back straighten as he kept on. He almost elbowed Thomas to make him stop talking, but he was so fed up with the boundaries Thomas was crossing that he decided that Thomas was going to deserve what he got. Thomas opened his mouth after a brief lull. “You know that girl, James? The one with the nice ass in our class? She looked so affronted by my compliment it was like she thought she’d been raped or something.” Thomas laughed. **_Thought_ ** _she’d been raped?_ James wondered. “Yeah, thought,” said Jefferson. James must have said that out loud. “It’s not like rape is real. You can claim you don’t want a dick all you want, but biology says that you want one, plus women enjoy rough sex. And anyway, she has a nice ass, but she’s not hot enough to be worth raping, am I right?” Thomas grinned down at James, elbowing him and laughing. James wasn’t laughing. Rape is serious, and few knew better what effects it had on someone better than James did. Images of his sister in the hospital flashed across his mind. He realized they had stopped walking.

            The Schuyler sisters had stopped walking. The hallway was emptying around them. Eliza, usually so bright and strong and loving was caught up in her sister’s embrace, shaking like a leaf in high winds, and Angelica, usually so calm and cold to outsiders, looked panicked and furious and upset and like she was going to cry or murder someone all at once. James made eye contact with Angelica. Her clever eyes narrowed, taking in his drained face and tired haunted eyes, and she tilted her head slightly in question. She asked a million questions with that one look, and James’s small and shaky nod confirmed everything. James walked over and hugged Eliza, running his hands up and down her back gently, murmuring words of comfort in her ear, feeling her body wracked with sobs and shaking from fear and a panic attack, and the tears soaking his shirt where she was hiding her face. Angelica rolled her shoulders back and set them strongly. She turned towards Thomas.

            Her voice was cold, icy, and by far the most terrifying thing James had ever heard. He was suddenly quite glad that he was _not_ on the receiving end of the glare he was sure she was wearing. “What did you say, _Thomas_ ?” She said his name the way a mother would reprimand a small child. James had seen her angry, but never this furious. Thomas smirked. “I _said_ that _rape_ isn’t _real_. Are you at that time of the month, princess?” James looked at Eliza, shaking more after the nickname princess, and all he could see was his sister, his big sister who was supposed to be strong and protect him, his Lizzy, curled up on the hospital bed shivering, and he felt himself beginning to cry.

            Angelica breathed deeply, glancing behind her to check on them. She saw James crying and her eyes softened, and her eyebrows knit themselves together in concern, but it was only for a moment before the steel returned and there was an even stronger fire in her eyes. “I know you couldn’t care less what you’ve done to my precious baby sister, but you need to take a good look behind me and see what you’ve done to the closest friend you have on this Earth and _see what you’ve done to him!_ ” She practically yelled the end of the sentence at Thomas. His eyes flitted away from her and settled on James. He held eye contact as long as he could, before a harsh, strangled sob forced it’s way out of his throat. Thomas balked. He coolly shifted his gaze back to her. “I have other friends. I didn’t realize James was so…” He paused, considering his next word. It came out cold and cruel, the simple word cutting James to the core. “Weak.” His sobbing redoubled, the occasional shudder becoming uncontrollable as he buried his face in Eliza’s hair, holding her closer.

            Angelica tightened her jaw, not looking back, knowing that if she did, if she saw her baby sister and _James_ , _poor, poor James_ and what _Thomas_ had done to them, she would just kill him then and there. “Greenwood park. 4:30. Be ready. Be there, or you forfeit the fight. No weapons, I don’t want to accidentally kill you.” James couldn’t _believe_ that she was going to fight him. Neither could Thomas. He laughed. “You couldn't hurt a _fly_ Miss Schuyler. If you tried to fight me, you’d end up getting hurt. I don’t fight unless it’s a fair fight. I can’t fight you! You’re a _girl!_ If I punch a girl I’ll have no honor!” Angelica gritted her teeth. “It’s lucky I don’t play by the same rules, then. I will still fight an unfair fight.” She risked a glance back at what Thomas had done to her sister and Thomas’s best friend in the world. Thomas clearly didn’t see that James was in love with him. Angelica felt bad for James. He didn’t deserve such treatment. Nobody did. Then she did the only thing imaginable. She took a deep breath, rolled her shoulder twice for good measure, and punched Thomas.

            Her knuckles connected with his jaw with a satisfying thump, and his head turned to the side with the force of the blow. He brought his hand up to his jaw, sneering. “You want to fight so bad, huh? I’ve always been a gentleman to give that ladies what they want. I’ll be there. Bring your crew. I’m sure they’ll want to be there to help you get off the ground and ice your bruises.” Thomas turned and walked away. Angelica watched him go. Once he was out of sight she took her sister back into her arms. Her single-minded focus tunneled out James, sobbing silently and hugging himself. He leaned against the wall, sliding down into the fetal position. The sobs hurt his bruised ribs, and some of the healing cuts were undoubtedly reopening. He rocked back and forth on the floor, a pathetic crying mess.

            Once Angelica was sure Eliza was fine to her satisfaction, and that meant Eliza had stopped crying and shaking entirely, and was feeling good, she spoke briskly. “Come on.” James didn’t move. He couldn’t move. He was paralyzed, stuck silently gasping for air and coughing and crying. He had thought that Angelica at least felt pity for him, but clearly she had realized that he was a friend of Thomas’s, and that Thomas would be back for him. Thomas _would_ be back for him, right? Angelica and Eliza had walked a few paces, then stopped. Eliza walked back to him, gestured for her sister to wait, and sat down on the floor with him. She spoke gently and quietly, trying to soothe him. “Hey, focus on me. That’s it. Breathe. Angelica doesn’t know how to help you, ok? She’s scared. It took her months before she completely stopped fucking up trying to help me. She would make it worse a lot at the beginning. She doesn’t know how to help you, and she’s too scared of hurting you. She doesn’t know what happened, so she can’t judge how to help.” The flow of words from Eliza began to calm  his breathing. It would be a while before the tears stopped falling, but once his breathing was under control, he’d feel better. It took a minute, but his breathing did relax, and his posture with it. He wasn’t so tightly wound anymore.

            Eliza offered him her hand, standing up. “Do you think you can stand?” He nodded, taking her offered hand and standing. He released her hand as soon as he was standing, but she just smiled sadly and took his other hand and squeezed it gently. He gave her a watery smile and squeezed her hand back.

            Angelica startled him by gently and tentatively taking his other hand, and they walked towards the lunch room.

            Eventually, Angelica dropped his hand in favor of walking in front of them, leading them and protecting them from questioning eyes. She lead them straight over to the table populated by her friends. James stiffened. _Oh no_. **This** was **not** going to end well. He dropped Eliza’s hand. She frowned at him slightly, questioning the action, but he didn’t see the look, too focused on the back of a certain boy’s head, which turned as Angelica tapped his shoulder.

            Alexander looked up at Angelica, before turning his body around a little to see a little better. She looked furious, luckily not at him, and was followed by Eliza and James fucking Madison, the friend and accomplice of Thomas The Asshole Jefferson. Alex scowled at Angelica. “What’s _he_ doing here? Did you willingly bring along a good for nothing pathetic excuse for a human being?” James flinched, choking back a sob and Eliza rubbed his back, but Alex was only paying attention to Angelica. There was a resounding _crack_ as her hand connected with his cheek suddenly and painfully. While Alex was sure that he was going to have a red mark on his cheek, he wasn’t sure _why_ . He’d said stuff way worse than that about Madison and she’d never batted an eye, and she’d even agreed with most of it. The glare on her face was enough to stop him cold. “What?” he tried. “That man is a friend of _Jefferson’s. Jefferson_ , for christ’s sake! You hate the guy! Why are you suddenly being kind to his accomplice?” She studies Alex. “He’s not.” “What?” “He’s not friends with _Thomas,_ ” she spat the name out like it tasted bad. “Not anymore. That man has crossed one too many lines. I am very well aware of how much I hate Thomas, I just punched him for God’s sake, and I need you to be a half decent human being and be kind to James.” Alex nodded, not understanding. He looked at Eliza and James. Looked at Angelica. Studied the tear tracks on Eliza’s face, studied the tears still running down James’s face, and opened his mouth. What came out was white hot fury. “What did he do to them? Angelica, what did Jefferson do to the only person who loves him to hurt him that badly? Is Jefferson even human? Does he have a heart?” “No,” Angelica said after a moment, looking at James sadly. “No he doesn’t have a heart.”

            A few moments later James was sitting sandwiched between Angelica and Eliza, and he couldn’t exactly remember how he got there. Alex’s words had hit a little too close to home, but they wouldn’t have bothered him on any other day. There was a murmur of small talk going around the table. James just stared down at his hands. “Weak… He called me weak… He knew about my Lizzy and he still said that…” He said quietly down into his lap. Angelica looked at him. “What happened to…” She paused, unsure. “Lizzy?” James swallowed dryly. “My big strong sister, my Lizzy, she always protected us, you know? When Dad would come home angry or drunk, she would take the brunt of it. She protected us. Then she taught us how to protect each other, and ourselves.” He drifted off, lost in thought for a moment. Alex spoke up quietly after a moment. “Protect yourselves from what?” He sounded scared and concerned, but it barely registered to James. He pulled up one side of his shirt, exposing the bruises and cuts from the previous night. Luckily they weren’t bleeding, but they _had_ reopened while he’d been crying. Alex sucked in a breath. “You don’t have asthma, do you? That’s why you’re always wheezing and coughing, isn’t it?” James nodded mutely. Alex’s eyes widened in realization. “Thomas was protecting you from questions by saying you has asthma, wasn’t he?” James nodded again. “You need to tell someone, James.” He shook his head violently. “No! If I tell, they’ll separate us! They’ll take him away! If he’s gone, he can’t pay for Lizzy’s medicine!” he sighed, then continued. “Lizzy… She moved to college last year. She couldn’t take care of us as well, but it was ok, because she was happy.” A glimmer of pride shone in his eyes. It faded. “She-she was attacked. Hurt. R-r-” He couldn’t say it. He was cut off by a sob. Angelica shushed him and told everyone what had happened. They were appalled. They wholeheartedly agreed with her decision to fight him.

            Angie showed up to the park in cropped black exercise pants and a tee shirt. She sat down on a bench and waited. Thomas strolled up to the park in basketball shorts and a tee shirt. Angelica’s friends, including their newest member, James, were all standing nearby and talking. Thomas’s friends were all walking with him. Thomas approached her, offering her a hand to stand up. She didn’t take it. They walked over to an open area, and their friends gathered around. Thomas took off his tee shirt, exposing his bare muscles. Angelica raised an eyebrow, and, without blinking an eye, followed suit. The sight of her black, blue, and white sports bra made Thomas blush and look away. Someone called out that they should just start already, so Thomas looked back at her.

            The fight wasn’t fair. Thomas had been in tons of fights with people much stronger than him and still won. Angelica, however, was a black belt in six different martial arts, and was a kickboxing champion. Thomas never stood a chance. The fight lasted two minutes, and Angelica basically just stood still for half of it. The match ended with Angelica’s foot pining Thomas to the ground on his stomach, hands under the foot on her back. Thomas was glistening with sweat and panting. Angelica’s breathing was steady and calm, and she hadn’t broken a sweat. Just like that it was over.

            A couple days later, James was walking to a class alone, because he didn’t share it with any of his friends, when he heard someone call out his name. It was Jefferson. “James!” He stopped walking, but didn’t dignify him by turning to look at him. “James, I’m really sorry about what I said. You aren’t weak. I wasn’t thinking, and I was being so stupid. How could I forget about Lizzy! I was wrong and I am so, so sorry.” Silence. “James?” James turned around and looked at Thomas. The ice of his stare froze Thomas almost as much as his words did. “You know, I loved you, Thomas. I was in love with you. You were my night and day, my sun and moon and stars and the very Earth beneath my feet. You were my everything. You and your words, obsessed with your image. Your sentences bordered on senseless, and you were paranoid in every phrase how they perceive you. Well now you forfeit all rights to my heart. I hope that you burn, Thomas Jefferson, burn in the pain you’ve caused, I hope you are crushed by the weight of the ruins you’ve created, and I hope you burn with all the bridges we once had. I hope that you burn.” James turned and walked into his classroom. Thomas walked away, dazed. If Thomas Jefferson cried for all he could’ve had with the man he loved if he hadn’t been so stupid and blind, that was his own damn business and his own damn fault.

**Author's Note:**

> So James actually did have a sister named Elizabeth, but she was younger, and died at the age of seven. I would not be opposed to making this not a one shot if that is what people wanted. Let me know in the comments! Hang with me/yell at me/fanperson with me on tumblr at my-brain-needs-a-spring-cleaning ! I have a couple other things here on ao3 if you want to read those.
> 
> Luv ya! -E


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